In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O’Brien

I just finished In the Lake of the Woods by Tim O’Brien a couple hours ago. It was a big of a whirlwind read through because I had to borrow the book and so I got it Friday and had to have it finished by tomorrow. So I wasn’t able to do as much processing as I would have liked but that’s ok.

The most prominent quote (in my fine opinion): “Out own children, our fathers, our wives and husbands: Do we truly know them? How much is camouflage? How much is guessed at? How many lies get told, and when, and about what? How often do we say, or think, God, I neverknew her? How often do we lie awake speculating—seeking some hidden truth? Oh, yes, it gnaws at me. I have my own secrets, my own trapdoors. I know something about deceit. Far too much. How it corrodes and corrupts. In her gentle way, I suppose Ruth Rasmussen was trying to tell me something both hard and simple. We find truth inside, or not at all.”

It’s true isn’t it. We lie to each other and to ourselves or we simply hide the truth; cover it up with a blanket, stick it in a closet somewhere, ignore the elephant in the room and hope it goes away. Sometimes it works and we get away with it. Sometimes it work forever and sometimes someone comes along and whips away that blanket, like an old Band-Aid trying to hide a nasty wound, and we have to face up to the monsters and skeletons pushed in to the closet for so long. Nearly forgotten. Sometimes we’re able to overcome all of that, recover, earn back trust and continue living as before. But sometimes, as what appeared to happen to John Wade, we lose ourselves and those we love despite how hard we cling to them in desperation.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Because we’re afraid of what these truths might mean? That it’ll show us to be monsters? “Can we believe that he was not a monster but a man? That he was innocent of everything except his life? Could the truth be so simple? So terrible?” That the world won’t see us as perfect anymore? But nobody is perfect. We should stop living in such fear. We are a nation paralyzed by fear.

"And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label
She says she's ashamed
And can she take me for awhile?
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools who fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend"

-Fuel "Shimmer"