Today sucks. I hate Mondays officially. More than I ever have in the past. Or maybe I just really hate THIS Monday because almost the rest of the United States has it off to commemorate the bastard Columbus (other than in South Dakota where it is rightfully called Native American Day [seriously, we’re celebrating some dumbass who thought he landed in Asia and instead caused the almost decimation of an entire people…?]) Anyway, why today is notsome:
1) Instead of being able to go to DC to see a couple of the most awesome bands ever while they're on tour (All Caps, Mike Lombardo, Skyway Flyer...) on the Mall and generally just hang out I had to do my community based learning and go to my Astronomy Lab.
2) For CBL I’m doing Read a Story/Write a Story with Kindergarteners (who don’t really know how to read or write…) Today was our first day with them which was great and I love kindergarteners but some are very rambunctious and I was exhausted to start with. Then myself and two other girls were working with Jasmine who has a generally girl’s name and has longer hair so we figured Jasmine was a girl but Jasmine is supposedly a boy. Parents with a sick sense of humor? Family name? Transgender? I don’t know but it was confusing and a little stressful trying not to be gender specific and not using pronouns. Jasmine received a ruler with a pony on it and proclaimed "Why did I get a GIRL'S one. I'm not a GIRL I'm a BOY!" quite vehemently. I imagine he often is confused with a girl/is a girl and very much does not want to be one. It's hard to tell when they're only 6 years old.
3) Astronomy only made me feel like a dumbass and completely lowered my self-confidence. We just went over our tests (which I failed.) And I found that most of my wrong answers were questions I shouldn’t have gotten wrong. Things that I know and should have answered correctly but I’m a dumbass. Also some boy tried flirting with me and I’m only all too aware of how terrible I am at flirting. Seriously. I’m horrendous.
4) Now I have to study for a Jazz History test tomorrow plus I should probably do more reading to Relational Psych but Astronomy killed my soul and I don’t have the energy and I’m far too depressed to care.
5) I’m homesick. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss seeing the stars. I miss pine trees. I miss home cooking. I miss my room. I miss sleeping in my own bed. I miss the quiet. I miss the comfortable. Fall break is coming up luckily but I can’t go home. It’s too expensive so I have to wait for Thanksgiving, which feels like eons away.
I want to quit college and just go home. Or at least curl up in bed and cry and put off my test until at least Thursday.
“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
-Into the Wild.
P.S. 5) My aunt and uncle's cat was hit by a car today and died. RIP Buzz
6) It smells like weed. THIS IS THE SUBSTANCE FREE DORM I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS!!!
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