It was about two year ago. Summer before my senior year and I had just returned from Europe. Something from the trip triggered a desire in me to reconnect with him. Something about the trip, something I saw, someone I met... I have no idea what but I needed to talk to him again. So when I arrived home I pulled out my computer and got on Facebook. I searched for him and was unable to find his page anywhere so I figured he had deleted it and instead I wrote him an email basically saying "Hi, I miss talking to you. How are you? What's up?" But I heard nothing back.
After a few day I mentioned it to a mutual friend. Strange: he was still showing up on her fb newsfeed. So she wrote on his wall for me asking what was going on and before you know it he had blocked her too (for this is what I assumed had happened to me.) I ended up using every means of communication possible but to no avail. I never called though. I guess I figured he'd screen me or I wouldn't be able to think of what to say or I'd get too emotional and be unable to speak. Whatever the reason, I couldn't muster up the courage to do it.
After a few more helpless and fruitless attempts at contact I got a message from some girl telling me to leave him along. After a little digging around I discovered that he and this girl were engaged. It had been at least a year since I cared about him romantically but it broke all the same. I spiralled into depression. Cried myself to sleep for weeks. How could he? He didn't even have the balls to initially tell me he was even seeing someone let alone how seriously it was. It hurt like hell and I couldn't even talk to him about him. He was always the guy I could go to for help; about guys, my parents, friends, whatever. But now he was...gone...just like that without any warning. It made me sick to my stomach.
A close friend finally mentioned my depressed and I spilled it all to her. How we used to be close (more than friends close) but it was hard because he lived so far away and we never even discussed having a long distance relationship. She helped me get over it that night luckily because half a year later I found out they had a baby (6 months after their marriage...) But by this time I had grown, matured, was able to handle the situation better. I sent him one last email (still curious about why the sudden impasse) congratulating him and hoping his was happy (only a little bit sarcastic) and after a few months I finally got a reply. A lame one, but nonetheless a reply. I stung a little but for the most part I was able to laugh the whole thing off. Being older and whatnot I was able to see our previous relationship for the ridiculousness that it was.
Of course a few months later my grandmother died which meant we had to go to the town where he lived (also where my grandma lived for most of her life) for her funeral. It's a pretty small place so I was convinced I was going to see him while there. My nerves were already shot to hell for the funeral and it was all I could do to keep myself together the entire weekend. We almost made it without running into him but the last day there, July 4th, we had to go to the annual Fourth of July parade in my grandma's even smaller hometown. He was on a float, playing cymbals for the marching band. I felt sick but then I thought about how stupid he looked up there slouched in his chair, clanging those cymbals. I was able to stick him in my past, where he belongs, and learn from the whole experience. I wish him well.
I chose this...incident...mostly because it's the first impasse I thought of. Also because it's the first real and most prominent impasse I've come across. It taught me a lot about relationships (especially the long distance kind) and helped me grow up. Similar, although not as dramatic, events have happened since and I've learned to just let it go better than I did so many years ago. I've also learned to protect myself.
